In keeping with my annual holiday tradition of blasting everyone for using way too much corporate mumbo-jumbo or just silly overused phrases in their daily speech, I present to you this year's winners of the Overused Expressions Award. You can also review last year's list and see just how far (backwards) we have traveled this year. Someday I will undoubtedly look back on this effort as my biggest gift to humanity and rationale for making it beyond the Pearly Gates. So without further ado...
Everytime you say this it makes me want to punch you in the face. If I wasn't serious, why would I have said what I just said? OK, maybe it's appropriate if I am either lying or joking, but then it's clear to me that you're too dumb to get it. So let's just can this one and go back to saying...
When people first started saying "what?" when they were caught doing something funny, outrageous or just plain stupid, I thought it was hilarious. Now it's so overused it makes my head ache. Let's move on people.
OK, do you guys actually know what this means? Geek that I am, I know that "ping" is a computer command that you use to test the connection between systems on a network. Now it's used to mean I'll call you, email you or otherwise get back to you. Personally, I think only geeks should be allowed to use geek-speak. So cut it out.
I guess we're talking about a profile here, a characterization of a typical individual that represents a larger group. To me, it means nothing at all. I don't think anybody really knows what this word means, so why use it? Gobbledy gook.
I guess I'm old school, but I think about Walden Pond or the Everglades when I hear this word. Now it apparently means any kind of loosely constructed organization of crap into something very marketable. Now that's creative. I think all businesses, software packages, social networks and "Housewives of..." reality TV shows should be called ecosystems from now on.
This is great because you now have two options to replace the old fashioned word "factors". You can either go the corporate nonsense route with "business drivers" or the always popular acronym route with KPI (Key Performance Indicator). Please shoot me now.
It will be a real game changer when people stop using expressions like this.
Yawn. You lost me at "value..."
OK, this is getting ugly. Time to quit while I'm ahead. I'm sure you have some fav's to add to my list, so please "pony them up" or "queue them up". OMG!!!!!
Photo credit: mrdorkesq
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