Six months ago we published "Top 10 Quotes - If Glengarry Glen Ross Were About Internet Marketing." The post was widely read and continues to drive lots of traffic to our blog today. However, based on comments and the reaction of many readers it was clear that 10 quotes was not enough and the lack of Ricky Roma and the "Machine Levene" quotes was unacceptable. Because of this we present to you part II - If Glengarry Glen Ross Were About Internet Marketing. . .
- Dave Moss: We don't gotta sit here and listen to this social media nonsense.
Blake: You CERTAINLY don't pal, 'cause the good news is - you're fired.
- Ricky Roma: Who said 'unfollow the machine'?
Dave Moss: Unfollow the machine? Unfollow the machine? UNFOLLOW THE MACHINE! What is this, cyber-bullying?
- [Dave Moss explodes at Ricky Roma and shouts]
Dave Moss: You're screwed Rick. Are you nuts? You're hot, so you think you're the ruler of the Blogosphere.
Shelley Levene: Now wait a minute, Dave.
Dave Moss: Shut up!
Shelley Levene: Okay...
Dave Moss: You want to decide who should be dealt with how, is that it? I come in the office today, I get humiliated by some phishing scam. I get accused of... I get garbage thrown in my face by you, you genuine fart, because you're top name on the Facebook "Likes" board?
Ricky Roma: Is that what I did, Dave? I humiliated you? Oh my, I'm sorry I got more "Tweets" and "Likes" then you.
Dave Moss: Sitting on top of the world. Sitting on top of everyone's Facebook wall, everything's freakin' peach fuzz.
- Williamson: The email lists are coming!
Shelley Levene: Get 'em to me!
Williamson: I talked to Mitch and Murray an hour ago. They're coming in, you understand. They're a bit upset about this morning's...
Shelley Levene: Did you tell 'em about my landing page conversion rate?
Williamson: How could I tell them about your landing page conversion rate? I don't even have an internet connection right now - I'll tell them about your landing page conversion rate when they bring in the new email lists, all right? Shelley, all right? You converted some traffic. Fine. You made a good landing page, fine.
Shelley Levene: It's better than a good landing page. It's...
Williamson: Look, I have a lot on my mind right now. They're coming in, all right? They're very upset, I'm trying to make some sense...
Shelley Levene: I'm telling you - the one thing you can tell them is that it's a remarkable landing page.
Williamson: The only thing 'remarkable' about it is who you converted on it.
Shelley Levene: What the HECK does that mean?
Williamson: That if the conversion turns into business, it'll be a miracle.
Shelley Levene: What does that mean? Why would it not... You do not know your conversion funnel. That's what I'm saying. A man IS his conversion funnel and you are awful at data analysis.
- Ricky Roma: WHAT YOU'RE HIRED FOR, is to help us convert... does that seem clear to you? TO HELP US, not to... CRASH-OUR-SITES... to help those who are going online to try to earn a living... You hacker. You Napster user.
- [Ricky Roma gets a URL from Williamson with a familiar "deadbeat" name]
Ricky Roma: Patel? RavademPatel.com? How am I gonna make a livin' on this horribly optimized website? Where did you get this one from AOL?
Williamson: Look I'm...
Ricky Roma: Oh come on, what's the point? What's the point in any case I gotta argue with you, I gotta knock heads with the spam police, I'm busting my mouse to convert on your horribly optimized websites.
- Blake: An optimized landing page equals A-I-D-A. Landing pages equal Attention, Interest, Decision, Action. Attention - Do I have your attention? Interest - Are you interested? I know you are, because it's click here or walk. You click here or you hit the bricks. Decision - Have you made your decision to click here? And Action.
- Shelley Levene: You can't type 140 characters with your feet, you oughta keep your mouth closed on Twitter
- Blake: You're talking about what. You're talking about... Complaining about that Klout score you shot, some Internet surfer who don't wanna fill out your form, some affiliate you're trying to secure, so forth. Let's talk about something important - the new Google +1. They all here?
- [after learning that the new analytics were in]
Ricky Roma: You filed it, that puts me over the top for conversions, I want my all expenses paid trip to Blog World. I don't wanna hear no excuses and I don't care. These analytics put me over the top. You filed it, it went downtown, now you owe me the trip to Blog World.
Between the first post and this one we now have 20 Internet marketing adjusted Glengarry Glen Ross quotes. You are highly encouraged to add to the list by including your quotes (keep them clean) as a comment below.
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