13 Types of Mothers and Grandmothers on Facebook (Including Yours)

13 Types of Mothers and Grandmothers on Facebook (Including Yours)

By Chad PollittMar 2 /2011

Facebook MomSo, your mother is finally on Facebook.  You’ve been on Facebook for years, but your mother just discovered the joy of social media and is using it to the fullest extent.  You shouldn’t be surprised either – women ages 55 to 65 represent the fastest growing demographic on Facebook.  What most mothers and grandmothers fail to understand when they’re using social media is that they’re actually building a personal brand with their engagements.  What type of personal brand is your mother or grandmother building?

  1. Spy – This is the mother or grandmother that not only digs through everything you’ve ever written and images you’ve posted on Facebook, but remembers them, scolds you and/or embarrasses you at your family functions.
  2. Invader – When your mother or grandmother invades your conversations and leaves comments on everything you leave on Facebook whether she’s knowledgeable on the subject/situation or not.
  3. Farmer – You know this one.  The Facebook gamer mom that invites you to play the 20+ games she plays constantly.  This drives you nuts and you can’t convince your mother or grandmother to stop playing these stupid games.
  4. Spammer – This is the grandmother or mom that posts so much random stuff that if you weren’t related to them you’d be convinced they were spammers.
  5. Victim – This is when your mother or grandmother blames Facebook for anything and everything that goes wrong with their computer, but still uses it.
  6. Cougar – Whether you know it or not some mothers are using Facebook for dating.  According to Forbes, one in five divorces involves Facebook.  Let’s just hope it’s not your friend she’s trying to date.
  7. Consultant – This is your mother’s attempt at being helpful.  She likes to send you every little morsel of info and advice she can find on the internet.  She posts it to your wall too.  This tends to be embarrassing because of the things she reveals about you like your bunions, IBS, adult bed wetting and dating habits.
  8. Referee – Mothers and grandmothers that “keep score” of the drama in your relationships with other people on Facebook.  They tend to be vocal and comment on your personal situations that unfold on Facebook.  
  9. Arbitrator – These are the moms and grandmothers that like to butt-in and attempt to heal any damaged relationships you have on Facebook.  These are the same mothers that were involved in your high school drama and knew everything about school rumors and innuendo.  
  10. Novelist – Moms and grandmothers that like to write A LOT on Facebook.  I’m not talking frequency, but rather words per post.  Their posts are so long you actually get cramps in your finger from scrolling down with your mouse.
  11. Cat Herder – This person is the “super brand advocate” that does nothing all day but peruse Facebook and take care of her cats.  This mom or grandmother loves to “like” brands and frequently posts comments on fan pages.
  12. Drama Queen – The drama queen is almost identical to the arbitrator.  However, instead of trying to heal your relationships the drama queen is attempting to turn the volume up on the level of drama you have in your relationships.
  13. Best Friend – Moms and grandmothers that nurture their relationship with you on Facebook and make you smile when they post are the best friend type.

"Damn It - My Mom is on Facebook!" (Saturday Night Live)


Did I accurately describe your mother or grandmother on Facebook?  If I missed your mother or grandmother's type please leave it as a comment below.  We'll be doing a public service by forewarning those unsuspecting Facebook users of what to expect when their mother and/or grandmother finally get on Facebook for the first time.

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